Children's Books About Honesty (Ages 3–8)

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Ours was a cracked tablet screen and a story about the cat. I knew within about four seconds, he knew I knew, and we both stood there in a situation neither of us had a way out of. That is the bit the books are for. Not the lecture afterwards, which nobody remembers, but giving a child the words for the horrible sinking feeling of having said something untrue and not knowing how to take it back.

Check this before you buy any book about lying

There is a finding here that changed which of these I reach for. In 2014, Kang Lee, Victoria Talwar and colleagues tested four classic moral stories on children aged three to seven and published the results in Psychological Science. Pinocchio and The Boy Who Cried Wolf, the two every adult reaches for, did not reduce lying. The story of George Washington and the cherry tree did increase truth telling. Their reading of why is the useful part: the Washington story ends with honesty being praised, while the other two end with the liar suffering. When the researchers rewrote the Washington story so that the lie was punished instead, it stopped working too.

One study, on one task, so hold it loosely rather than treating it as law. But it is a sensible filter, and it sorts this shelf quickly. Books where a child owns up and is met with relief tend to be the ones worth the money. Books built on a nose growing, or a village that lets your sheep get eaten, are mostly satisfying for the adult reading them. Every book below resolves with the truth being received well, which was deliberate.

It is also worth knowing that early lying is ordinary. Researchers who study children's deception, Lee among them, find it appearing in the preschool years and becoming common by around four, alongside the dawning realisation that other people cannot see inside your head. A three-year-old who tells you the cat broke the tablet has just worked out something quite sophisticated. That does not make it fine, but it does mean you are teaching a skill rather than correcting a flaw, and a book that treats your child as a small villain will not help you do it.

1. Ruthie and the (Not So) Teeny Tiny Lie by Laura Rankin

Ruthie loves tiny things, finds a tiny toy on the playground, and says it is hers when another child says otherwise. Then she has to hold that up all day. Rankin draws the weight of it on Ruthie's face better than any text could, and the confession, when it comes, is met warmly rather than punished, which is exactly the shape the research points at. Bloomsbury USA Children's Books, 2007, 32 pages, reading age three to five on Amazon. It is the youngest-skewing book here and the closest to the moment most parents are actually in. The trade-off is that it is a school story, so a child not yet at school may need a little translating. View Ruthie and the (Not So) Teeny Tiny Lie on Amazon →

2. The Empty Pot by Demi

An emperor gives every child in the land a seed and promises his throne to whoever grows the finest flower. Ping, who can grow anything, grows nothing, and brings his empty pot to the palace while every other child arrives with something in bloom. Demi's gold-leaf illustrations make it feel like a folk tale you already half knew. Henry Holt and Co. BYR Paperbacks, this edition 2007, 32 pages, reading age four to seven. This is the honesty-rewarded story done properly: Ping is the only child who tells the truth, and it costs him everything right up until it does not. Best from four and a half or so, because the ending needs a moment's thinking to land. View The Empty Pot on Amazon →

3. The Berenstain Bears and the Truth by Stan and Jan Berenstain

The cubs break something of Mama's while playing indoors, then build a cover story on top of it, and the cover story grows heavier than the broken thing ever was. It is the household standard for a reason: the situation is recognisable to the point of being uncomfortable, and Papa's talk about one fib needing another to prop it up is the clearest version of that idea in any picture book. Random House Books for Young Readers, 1983, 32 pages, reading age three to six. It shows its age in places and the moral arrives with a certain firmness, so pair it with a warmer book rather than making it the only one on the shelf. View The Berenstain Bears and the Truth on Amazon →

4. Too Many Tamales by Gary Soto

María tries on her mother's ring while helping to make tamales at Christmas, then cannot find it, and decides it must be inside one of the tamales. What follows is her and her cousins working their way through the lot. Ed Martinez's paintings are warm enough to eat and the kitchen feels like a real one. Puffin Books, this edition 1996, 32 pages, reading age four to eight. Strictly it is about owning up to a mistake rather than about lying, and it is the funniest book here by a distance, which is what makes the confession scene work. Good for the child who goes silent and hides things rather than inventing stories. View Too Many Tamales on Amazon →

5. Lying Up a Storm by Julia Cook

The most direct book on the list, and the only one written as a teaching tool rather than a story that happens to be about honesty. Levi's lies bring literal storms down on him, and his mother gives him a phrase to use when the truth is hard to start. National Center for Youth Issues, 2015, 32 pages, reading age four to nine, illustrated by Michelle Hazelwood Hyde. Buy it for the child who is lying often enough that you need a shared script rather than a one-off conversation. It is less beautiful than the others and it does not pretend otherwise; what it has is words your child can actually use on Tuesday. View Lying Up a Storm on Amazon →

6. The Honest-to-Goodness Truth by Patricia C. McKissack

The book for the opposite problem. Libby is caught in a lie, swears off lying for good, and then tells the truth about everything to everybody, and makes a small wreckage of her friendships doing it. Giselle Potter's illustrations give it a folk-art stillness that suits the Southern setting. Aladdin, this paperback edition 2003, 40 pages, reading age five to eight. This is the one to reach for a few weeks after the others, once honesty has landed and the blunt phase has started, because it is the only book here that separates telling the truth from using it as a weapon. Too subtle for a three-year-old; excellent at six. View The Honest-to-Goodness Truth on Amazon →

There is no Silver book about honesty, and inventing a connection to one would be a strange thing to do on a page about telling the truth. Sharing Silver opens with Bandit the dog taking honey that is not his and finding out what comes back to him, and its line “every mistake is a chance to grow stronger” is useful the morning after a confession, but nobody in it tells a lie. If grabbing and “mine!” is the bigger battle at your house then that is the relevant one; for honesty, the six above are better.

What to do after the book

Three things made more difference here than the reading did. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to: "did you break this" is an invitation to a second lie, where "the screen is cracked, and I am not cross about the screen" leaves a door open. Thank the truth out loud when it arrives, even when what is being confessed to is genuinely annoying, and sort out the mess as a separate conversation ten minutes later. And keep the word for the feeling alive: after Ruthie, "is this a teeny tiny lie?" did more work in our house than any number of talks about honesty, because it gave him a way to tell me without having to announce it.

The thing to avoid is a public retelling. A confession that becomes a story told to grandparents at the weekend is a confession that will not happen again.

How to choose between them

Pick by what actually happened. A small thing claimed as theirs is Ruthie and the (Not So) Teeny Tiny Lie. Something broken and covered up is The Berenstain Bears and the Truth. A mistake they went quiet about is Too Many Tamales. Lying often enough that you need a shared phrase is Lying Up a Storm. Wanting them to see that honesty is worth something is The Empty Pot. And a child who has become brutally honest about other people's haircuts is The Honest-to-Goodness Truth.

For the shelves either side of this one, best books about making mistakes covers the getting-it-wrong half without the lie attached, children's books about stealing is the list for when something has been taken rather than denied, children's books about respect and best books about manners handle the everyday version, and teaching a child to say sorry is the practical guide for what comes straight after a confession. The full kindness and sharing guide ties the lot together.